Thursday, September 18, 2008
All kinds of posts!!!
So I posted all my blogs from Africa so that if you wanted to you could read them all on one site. : ) Enjoy!
Never Again 5/1/08
I have been home for two weeks now and what a whirlwind! Life in America is so different and although I am embracing running water and two ply T.P. I am missing my team and the relationships I built there. I continue to learn of God's love for me and His plan. Trusting Him is a daily decision.
I just thought I would share lyrics to a song that met me where I am at... The words are powerful and bring me to tears everytime...
Never Again
Through the grieving of the broken
Hold them in Your hands
And You listen to their prayers
You hear the crying of the orphans
You hold them in You hands
And You listen to their prayers
Wake up God
Move Yourself
Wicked men have crushed You children
We pray
We wait
How long until You say...
Never again
Never again
You see the bruise on the victims
You hold them in Your hands
And You listen to their prayers
You are King forever and ever
You Kingdom come on down
Let justice roll like water, like water
The wickedness will drown.
(Enter the Worship Circle 4th circle)
I just thought I would share lyrics to a song that met me where I am at... The words are powerful and bring me to tears everytime...
Never Again
Through the grieving of the broken
Hold them in Your hands
And You listen to their prayers
You hear the crying of the orphans
You hold them in You hands
And You listen to their prayers
Wake up God
Move Yourself
Wicked men have crushed You children
We pray
We wait
How long until You say...
Never again
Never again
You see the bruise on the victims
You hold them in Your hands
And You listen to their prayers
You are King forever and ever
You Kingdom come on down
Let justice roll like water, like water
The wickedness will drown.
(Enter the Worship Circle 4th circle)
My Baby Love 4/10/08
So it is no shocker to you all that as I come here I have fallen in love with the little babies.
I wrote before about a baby named Benjamin who I love! He had gotten discharged but I saw him again in the outpatient clinic. He is not doing well and has continued to lose weight since going home but his mother denies his malnutrition and will not readmit him. The American doctor asked if I wanted to start taking care of him. It took everything in me to not say of course I will. Realistically I cannot take care of him, but God can… a harsh reality as they talked of his closeness to death. I have been waking up every night around 2 or 3 and my heart is heavy for him. I spend anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour praying for this beautiful boy. I haven’t seen him again but God has clearly been asking me to intercede for him. Feel free to join me : )
I also have some new babies in my life here. ☺ At the Mbabane hospital we go to each Saturday I have been loving on a set of twins for three weeks now. They are almost 3 months and weighs about 5 lbs each. They are so sick and their mother in the in the woman’s ward and the doctor’s do not expect her to live much longer. My time has been spent with the babies and pouring into Pumzile. Pumzile takes care of the babies and now the mother as well. She works at an orphanage in Mbabane. She has an amazing heart and radiates love in her actions and words. Each week I go to see them Pumzile will tell me of how close the babies came to death that week. They just cannot seem to gain the weight for their body to function. As I sat in the hospital holding the precious little girl I couldn’t help but have tears stream down my face as I ached for her realizing the reality of her mom being HIV positive so she has a high possibility to be sick with it. And just the closeness of death each day here is so common. Ahh—My heart is being stretched in so many directions, it hurts for the people here.
“ Lord, You reign in every situation. You are so good. I trust in Your perfect plan even when I don’t understand it. Give me wisdom in how to pray and serve and love the people I come in contact with. Bring Your healing power over these babies. Claim them as Yours that they may grow to be women and men of You. Let them be lights in this country that seems so dark. Bring peace to my heart. Amen.”
** Some of us on the team are memorizing Romans 12. It is only 21 verses. Try to challenge yourself this week to even memorize one. : ) Or pray through the verses for us and our team.
I wrote before about a baby named Benjamin who I love! He had gotten discharged but I saw him again in the outpatient clinic. He is not doing well and has continued to lose weight since going home but his mother denies his malnutrition and will not readmit him. The American doctor asked if I wanted to start taking care of him. It took everything in me to not say of course I will. Realistically I cannot take care of him, but God can… a harsh reality as they talked of his closeness to death. I have been waking up every night around 2 or 3 and my heart is heavy for him. I spend anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour praying for this beautiful boy. I haven’t seen him again but God has clearly been asking me to intercede for him. Feel free to join me : )
I also have some new babies in my life here. ☺ At the Mbabane hospital we go to each Saturday I have been loving on a set of twins for three weeks now. They are almost 3 months and weighs about 5 lbs each. They are so sick and their mother in the in the woman’s ward and the doctor’s do not expect her to live much longer. My time has been spent with the babies and pouring into Pumzile. Pumzile takes care of the babies and now the mother as well. She works at an orphanage in Mbabane. She has an amazing heart and radiates love in her actions and words. Each week I go to see them Pumzile will tell me of how close the babies came to death that week. They just cannot seem to gain the weight for their body to function. As I sat in the hospital holding the precious little girl I couldn’t help but have tears stream down my face as I ached for her realizing the reality of her mom being HIV positive so she has a high possibility to be sick with it. And just the closeness of death each day here is so common. Ahh—My heart is being stretched in so many directions, it hurts for the people here.
“ Lord, You reign in every situation. You are so good. I trust in Your perfect plan even when I don’t understand it. Give me wisdom in how to pray and serve and love the people I come in contact with. Bring Your healing power over these babies. Claim them as Yours that they may grow to be women and men of You. Let them be lights in this country that seems so dark. Bring peace to my heart. Amen.”
** Some of us on the team are memorizing Romans 12. It is only 21 verses. Try to challenge yourself this week to even memorize one. : ) Or pray through the verses for us and our team.
Community 3/28/08
Week ten of our trip and the reality of living with 14 other people has set in. All the little habits of people are out. As frustrations or annoyances grew I went to God searching. How do I love the people who rub me wrong, who are just plain difficult at times? As I sat in a field near a waterhole last week I decided to listen to a podcast from my church at home. I had 17 on my ipod but only one would work and it was no coincidence that it was on authentic community. It hit me in the chest as he challenged the congregation to change their view on community. He explored the difference between finding worldly community that is centered on affinity or lifestyle commonness and the community we are called to as Christians. We are called to love and be in community and our commonness is solely Him. We as a body should have diversity and learn to embrace that.
I finished the podcast feeling so convicted about how I love my team. But God was not finished with me yet. I woke up the next morning to read in 31 Days of Praise (day 20) and it was based on praising Him for the seemingly difficult people in our lives. And then asking for His wisdom and guidance as we learn to love and accept them as He does. Wow, what a challenge. He was not going to let this community idea get away from me. He continues to challenge the way I respond and react. He is morphing my mindset to be fully focused on love. It is so hard and challenging at times and He has to remind me all the time of His love for each person.
Please be praying as we have less than a month left. Pray we finish strong. Pray we stay united as a team and that any issues will be handled with wisdom and love from Him. Pray that we strengthen together to make lasting friendships as we serve together.
Ruth 3/28/08
Again we headed to the Manzini hospital as I enter the children’s ward I was so excited to hear that baby Benjamin had been discharged**. It was kind of bittersweet because I had been spending most all my time with him so now I prayed for His direction in how to minister that day. My mind went to a woman I had prayed with only a couple times who had TB in the woman’s ward. As I headed to the woman’s ward I prayed that God would give me guidance in what to talk about/do.
She beamed as she saw me. I sat and chatted learning she had at least a month left in the hospital. Her English was good but she was weak and I knew my questions were becoming too much. I asked if she liked stories. She quickly and with a smile said “yebo!”
I read the book of Ruth to her. She was intent to listen and watched as I spoke each word. The whole time I was wondering if she understood any of it. As I finished she smiled and simply spoke, “ It is a story of faith and how God provides.” Wow, she hit it right on. This opened a whole new door where I was able to explore God’s provision and plan. She even brought up that it isn’t always how we plan. Naomi did not plan for her husband and sons to die yet He was glorified and provided for her. She did nto plan to be in the hospital and wanted to be home with her kids yet she was here and she said she know there has to be a reason.
I closed my visit and prayed for her.
“Lord, you know this woman’s heart… Let her know You. Use this door that has been opened. Guide my words and actions as I continue to visit. Comfort her as she is away from family. Let her know your Love and praise Your Name. Amen. “
** I saw Ben on April 1, 2008 and he is not doing well. The doctor said he is malnourished and his mother refuses to admit him. Please pray for her to change her mind and for him to be able to keep the nutrients he needs.
She beamed as she saw me. I sat and chatted learning she had at least a month left in the hospital. Her English was good but she was weak and I knew my questions were becoming too much. I asked if she liked stories. She quickly and with a smile said “yebo!”
I read the book of Ruth to her. She was intent to listen and watched as I spoke each word. The whole time I was wondering if she understood any of it. As I finished she smiled and simply spoke, “ It is a story of faith and how God provides.” Wow, she hit it right on. This opened a whole new door where I was able to explore God’s provision and plan. She even brought up that it isn’t always how we plan. Naomi did not plan for her husband and sons to die yet He was glorified and provided for her. She did nto plan to be in the hospital and wanted to be home with her kids yet she was here and she said she know there has to be a reason.
I closed my visit and prayed for her.
“Lord, you know this woman’s heart… Let her know You. Use this door that has been opened. Guide my words and actions as I continue to visit. Comfort her as she is away from family. Let her know your Love and praise Your Name. Amen. “
** I saw Ben on April 1, 2008 and he is not doing well. The doctor said he is malnourished and his mother refuses to admit him. Please pray for her to change her mind and for him to be able to keep the nutrients he needs.
Benjamin 3/21/08
Today as I walked into the Manzini hospital I eagerly awaited seeing Benjamin’s tiny little face. Just a month ago I walked in to find a weary mother and the smallest two month old I had ever seen. She spoke no English but through the other mothers around her I learned his name was Anton but she wanted him to have an English name. I named him Benjamin. I was not able to communicate so I began to sing. I sang Jesus’ name over and over. Ben had not slept in two days and as I sang he was soon fast asleep in my arms. His mother went out in the courtyard to sleep. My ministry had begun. This started a pattern, for the next visits I came in and sang him to sleep and then she would go rest. I would sing with the other mothers and enjoyed chatting. Ben was always my focus. He was only 2.3 kilograms when I met him. He could not keep any nourishment in him and I prayed fervently his body to heal.
Now after a month he is finally gaining weight. Today he weighed 3 kilograms and is even smiling at me. My relationship with his mother has amazed me. We still cannot communicate much but this morning instead of me starting the singing she said “sing akeko” and we then sang together. I felt so connected with her and after I prayed at the end of our visiting time she kept saying thank you and gave me a big hug. What a blessing to love on this family.
Please be praying for Ben and his family. He is 3.0kg today and needs to be 3.8kg before he can go home from the hospital. His dad is very sick and his mother is so fearful after having already lost two children.
“Father, heal this beautiful baby boy. Let him get the nourishment he needs for his body to be healthy again. Grow him up to be a man of You. Let him be a light to his family. Cover him with Your comfort and love! Amen.”
His Body 3/11/08
A couple weeks ago I went to church with Kate (the FYM leader here) and I had only been there once before. We arrived and were warmly welcomed, but not the “good morning, handshake, see you later” kind of greeting but an embrace followed by finding me somewhere to sit since at the time I was still on crutches and then sitting down to see how my week was kind of welcome. We went through our normal kids church program and back into the service. I was once again showed where to sit and this time the head pastor came over and asked me how my foot was and if he could pray for healing. Not long after he was at the front of the church and asking the congregation to pray for their sister’s foot that it would heal. I was blown away—they don’t even know me.
I was thinking over this event the other day and realized how well it portrays how the body of Christ should be at work. Sure they didn’t know me, I don’t even know their language but prayed because of the common ground we had in Him.
We are the body of Christ. Whether miles from home in a foreign land or sitting at Imago Dei in the Franklin auditorium. God continues to bless me as I learn to grasp another part of His Kingdom… His People.
I was thinking over this event the other day and realized how well it portrays how the body of Christ should be at work. Sure they didn’t know me, I don’t even know their language but prayed because of the common ground we had in Him.
We are the body of Christ. Whether miles from home in a foreign land or sitting at Imago Dei in the Franklin auditorium. God continues to bless me as I learn to grasp another part of His Kingdom… His People.
A God of HOPE 3/8/08
A child is marked with scars from abuse. A patient we have made relationship with dies from AIDS. A baby so small and dying because his mother is too sick to feed him. I hit a wall of being overwhelmed by these oh so common scenarios we find ourselves ministering in. Why God? Where are you in all of this? All week He has been revealing to me that I am not in control for a reason and although it doesn’t make sense to me I need to trust Him. He ultimately is a God of love and reason. Seems simple but is hard to grasp when I found myself consumed by the pain and brokenness of the Swazi people.
“Love them Megan. That is what I have put before you. You cannot save them. Only I can. Show them my Love! “
So I began to pray for the sick. Pray for miraculous healing not just physically but in the hearts of the Swazis. I began to pray that He would show them the hope found in Him and as I prayed I found passage after passage about His hope, love and joy. So beyond anything we can even comprehend. The verse that was in my head pretty much 24/7 this week was-
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
“Lord, that is my prayer for the Swazi people. Fill them with Your joy and peace that their lives and spirits overflow with Your hope. God take this nation! Do a mighty work. Thank you for the hope and joy you have put in me. Thank you for your goodness. Thank you for having a plan and purpose so beyond me. Help me to trust you fully even when it doesn’t seems to make sense. I love you Abba. Amen.”
“Love them Megan. That is what I have put before you. You cannot save them. Only I can. Show them my Love! “
So I began to pray for the sick. Pray for miraculous healing not just physically but in the hearts of the Swazis. I began to pray that He would show them the hope found in Him and as I prayed I found passage after passage about His hope, love and joy. So beyond anything we can even comprehend. The verse that was in my head pretty much 24/7 this week was-
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
“Lord, that is my prayer for the Swazi people. Fill them with Your joy and peace that their lives and spirits overflow with Your hope. God take this nation! Do a mighty work. Thank you for the hope and joy you have put in me. Thank you for your goodness. Thank you for having a plan and purpose so beyond me. Help me to trust you fully even when it doesn’t seems to make sense. I love you Abba. Amen.”
Comfort 3/5/08
“May Your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.”
Ps. 119:76
I have been so amazed by how God provides and challenges me. I have been building a relationship with a woman who had been sick with heart issues in the woman’s ward at the hospital here in Manzini. I learned of her family- she had 5 girls including 5-month-old twins. I began to pray for her to heal so she could go home and take care of them. She was so concerned about her babies well being. I had been praying for her and visiting for three weeks and was so excited to see her go home. I was shocked as I walked into the children’s ward less than a week after she went home to find her twin baby girls admitted as patients. Part of me was excited to meet and hold and pray over the babies I had heard so much about yet the realness of them being sick hit me like a brick. I sat with her and sang one of the girls to sleep. I promised to be praying and hoped to see her Tuesday although she told me they should be well by then. They were there for diarrhea and she said usually after a couple days they are better. I was so excited to see that the babies were gone today when I went to visit until the other mothers looked so sad when I asked about them. One of the girls had died the day after I had last visited. The other home healthy. I was shocked.
I couldn’t understand. I had seen so much pain and right after I talk with my mom about how He is teaching me of His hope and the love that comes with it… this happens. Why Lord? I don’t understand. I found the verse listed above and was reminded of His amazing ways of comfort. He is an incredible comforter. As I said before God provides and in this circumstance I found His comfort.
The challenge comes with how He challenged me. The challenge has been progressing over the last couple of weeks but I hadn’t made the connection of the title until today. I was away from home with a broken ankle** and just wanted to be comfortable. I was thinking of how much easier and injury like this would be if I had a couch and a variety of Grey’s Anatomy seasons on DVD. God challenged me in the things I had surrendered… I had given Him my appearance, my friends, even my family and my plans, but now my comfort? I came to the realization that God has not called me or any of us as His people to a life of comfort. Sometimes He blesses us with the luxuries of life but that is no promise. No where in the Bible does it talk of when you come to Him your stresses and discomfort subside. So much of this for me came down to trusting He will provide and even more that His plan for provision is better than mine.
“Lord, help me to understand You. Cover me in Your comfort but push me out of my comfort zone as I serve You that You may be glorified. Thank you for showing me each day a little more of who You are.”
**I got my cast off yesterday!! Thank you for all your prayers. Please pray for continued healing and recovery.
Ps. 119:76
I have been so amazed by how God provides and challenges me. I have been building a relationship with a woman who had been sick with heart issues in the woman’s ward at the hospital here in Manzini. I learned of her family- she had 5 girls including 5-month-old twins. I began to pray for her to heal so she could go home and take care of them. She was so concerned about her babies well being. I had been praying for her and visiting for three weeks and was so excited to see her go home. I was shocked as I walked into the children’s ward less than a week after she went home to find her twin baby girls admitted as patients. Part of me was excited to meet and hold and pray over the babies I had heard so much about yet the realness of them being sick hit me like a brick. I sat with her and sang one of the girls to sleep. I promised to be praying and hoped to see her Tuesday although she told me they should be well by then. They were there for diarrhea and she said usually after a couple days they are better. I was so excited to see that the babies were gone today when I went to visit until the other mothers looked so sad when I asked about them. One of the girls had died the day after I had last visited. The other home healthy. I was shocked.
I couldn’t understand. I had seen so much pain and right after I talk with my mom about how He is teaching me of His hope and the love that comes with it… this happens. Why Lord? I don’t understand. I found the verse listed above and was reminded of His amazing ways of comfort. He is an incredible comforter. As I said before God provides and in this circumstance I found His comfort.
The challenge comes with how He challenged me. The challenge has been progressing over the last couple of weeks but I hadn’t made the connection of the title until today. I was away from home with a broken ankle** and just wanted to be comfortable. I was thinking of how much easier and injury like this would be if I had a couch and a variety of Grey’s Anatomy seasons on DVD. God challenged me in the things I had surrendered… I had given Him my appearance, my friends, even my family and my plans, but now my comfort? I came to the realization that God has not called me or any of us as His people to a life of comfort. Sometimes He blesses us with the luxuries of life but that is no promise. No where in the Bible does it talk of when you come to Him your stresses and discomfort subside. So much of this for me came down to trusting He will provide and even more that His plan for provision is better than mine.
“Lord, help me to understand You. Cover me in Your comfort but push me out of my comfort zone as I serve You that You may be glorified. Thank you for showing me each day a little more of who You are.”
**I got my cast off yesterday!! Thank you for all your prayers. Please pray for continued healing and recovery.
Surrender in His Kingdom 2/27/08
Our team even since training camp has had an amazing amount of focus on what it looks like to surrender fully to Him. I have had several things God has been pushing me in. And I realized my idea of surrendering was so off base from what His purpose is. It took me a while but I realized that I had just automatically assumed that if I surrender something then it is gone. He has taken and I may never see it again. But what I missed was His desire to love me and His purpose or plan for my life. He may take them away I don’t know but to just truly trust Him regardless takes a daily surrender. I have been journaling and really kind of battling out with God as he challenged me with bigger and harder situations in my life each time we talked.
“Megan, you are willing to trust me with ministry here in Africa but what about at home? Do you trust your family and friends to me? What about your dreams and plans for future? Do you trust me Megan?”
Wow God slow down. I have things I like the way they are. I have wants and dreams. I began to take them back, but He said no. “Megan, those are mine.”
I was reading my Bible one afternoon after a day of ministry and He revealed to me what I had missed. I was to be living in His Kingdom with Him as my King but somehow I was trying to fit Him into the world I had created for myself. All of this was coming together when our team had to leave Swazi for the day to South Africa so that we could get new visas. We went to a very Westernized mall and really I was quite overwhelmed but quickly went to what I knew, a Christian bookstore and a coffee shop. Perfect. I looked through and was so excited to find that the bookstore had authors I knew and even had my pastor, Rick McKinley’s book, A Beautiful Mess I picked it up having never read it and knew I needed to buy it. It talked exactly about living in His Kingdom here on earth and what it means to be under the rule of the King. I am only on chapter 5 and am just overwhelmed by how something that is from home and I randomly saw at the bookstore could relate so much to my life here in Africa.
God is so good and daily teaching me what it means to surrender and follow Him fully.
“Megan, you are willing to trust me with ministry here in Africa but what about at home? Do you trust your family and friends to me? What about your dreams and plans for future? Do you trust me Megan?”
Wow God slow down. I have things I like the way they are. I have wants and dreams. I began to take them back, but He said no. “Megan, those are mine.”
I was reading my Bible one afternoon after a day of ministry and He revealed to me what I had missed. I was to be living in His Kingdom with Him as my King but somehow I was trying to fit Him into the world I had created for myself. All of this was coming together when our team had to leave Swazi for the day to South Africa so that we could get new visas. We went to a very Westernized mall and really I was quite overwhelmed but quickly went to what I knew, a Christian bookstore and a coffee shop. Perfect. I looked through and was so excited to find that the bookstore had authors I knew and even had my pastor, Rick McKinley’s book, A Beautiful Mess I picked it up having never read it and knew I needed to buy it. It talked exactly about living in His Kingdom here on earth and what it means to be under the rule of the King. I am only on chapter 5 and am just overwhelmed by how something that is from home and I randomly saw at the bookstore could relate so much to my life here in Africa.
God is so good and daily teaching me what it means to surrender and follow Him fully.
God Works Through the Everyday 2/7/08
Two days ago I fell down or rather off of some stairs at our homestead. My ankle now purple and the size of the softball left me discouraged and frustrated. I wanted to be able to play and run around and jump with the kids everywhere.
I was sitting to the side and praying that God would take away my frustration and pain. I tried to quiet myself even with the chaos of school kids all around me. I found peace-I was exactly where I needed to be. As I sat looking and embracing His beauty a precious little boy about two came over to me. He sat right down in my lap and soon made himself more comfortable. It was not long before he was curled up and fast asleep. This was why I was here! I didn’t need to be crazy and singing or running around. At that moment I knew all this boy needed was love.
As I wrapped my arms around his little body and stroked his sweaty head I prayer for God to embrace this child as His son. To wrap him up and consume him with His Love. A peace filled me and I drifted off to sleep with a light and content heart.
God can even work and grow us on days when we feel inadequate or discouraged!
Restoration 2/18/08
As I sat in the squatter camp, my body exhausted still trying to adjust to having a cast and walking with crutches, I began to pray that God would energize me. I was on a step watching as my team was able to run around and tickle and pick up kids.
I sensed frustration building and prayed for God to bring a child to me since I couldn't round one up.A little girl peeked her head from behind the tree. I waved and she soon was snuggled in my lap.Her body sank into mine as if we were a puzzle.
Kristen and Michelle (two of the FYMs that teach at the school) came over and began to tell me this little girl's story. Her name is Rosa and she is a Mozambique refugee. She speaks little to no English or SiSwati. She was usually energetic and engaging.
I looked down in my lap and my heart broke. She was quiet and her eyes were sad and serious. Kristen continued to explain that Rosa had witnessed her dad being beaten the night before. Traumatic for any 6-year-old but the reason was because her dad is abusive to her. She came to school for the teacher to find all the signs of abuse.
Rosa snuggled closer as they talked and refused to eat the food put in front of her.
I began to pray. I prayed restoration of this beautiful girl. That God would take over her thoughts and dreams. That she would feel and know His Love! As I said amen Rosa broke out saying, "I love Jesus, a bunchy bunchy." Over and over she repeated I fought back tears so moved by the change that had just occurred. By the time we left she was laughing and running and playing. A grin ear to ear. She was like night and day.
The power of prayer is so huge!
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